As Brookside High’s prom night approaches, teen overachiever Nova Prescott (Friday Night Lights’ Aimee Teegarden) finds herself drawn to a guy from the wrong side of the tracks (Thomas McDonell), and her peers’ relationships unspool or catch flame.
It’s almost comical how much effort Disney poured into the cast’s racial diversity, making their exclusion of any gay characters all the more glaring. Especially given the media’s coverage over the past year’s time of gay teen suicide rates, bullying, harassment, and even prom exclusion. Constance McMillan is the latter’s most famous example: her Mississippi school barred her in 2010 from bringing her girlfriend or donning a tux, then canceled the prom altogether when the ACLU cried foul. Such stories abound, so it would have been a nice touch had Disney expended the tiny bit of effort required to show young gays and lesbians they’re as welcome at their proms as anyone else. But the Mouse didn’t want to take on that thorny issue and instead chose to pretend gay and lesbian teens don’t exist.
Nova is the pretty blonde class president, valedictorian, homecoming queen and, naturally, head of prom planning -- basically Tracey Flick minus the evil. The poor thing shows such fevered, cult-like devotion to the prom’s sacredness that, when her décorations go up in smoke in an early scene, it’s a wonder she herself doesn’t burst into flame upon hearing the news. But, despite her foibles (and being named after a Chevy), Nova did finally grow on me, evolving into at least a semblance of a human being. Still, this was thanks only to the unconventional Jesse’s influence, much to the chagrin of her father (a creepy Dean Norris), not her own initiative to change.
Newcomer McDonell, who plays Jesse, resembles a young Johnny Depp and is set to play a younger version of Depp’s Barnabas Collins in Tim Burton’s DARK SHADOWS (2012). I don’t blame Jesse one bit for shutting out the mind-numbingly dull array of archetypes that comprise his peers, each of them dwelling obsessively on the upcoming shindig. Jesse’s more reality-based priorities include skipping class at the end of each day to pick up his adoring little bro from elementary school. (All together now: aww.)
Jesse and Nova’s relationship follows the traditional “meet cute” formula: opposites who loathe each other then magically (and improbably, conveniently, inexplicably) fall head over heels in love. But even given Nova’s transformation by the end of the film, she’s much too prim to make a believable girlfriend to the more independent-minded Jesse.
As for the peripheral characters, I would have preferred that Neanderthal Tyler (DeVaughn Nixon) be drawn and quartered on the dance floor for shitting on his admirers instead of merely being humiliated, but I’ll accept any shreds of justice. Danielle Campbell plays sultry Simone, who twice disses innocent semi-nerd Lucas (Nolan Sotillo), but the poor boy’s so love struck, he forgives her anyway. She too deserves torture. Tall, goofy Lloyd’s (Nicholas Braun) disastrous attempts to pin down a date mildly amuse in a sea of otherwise canned, Nickelodeon-inspired dialogue. Cameron Monaghan plays Lucas’s (male) BFF Corey, who’s effeminate, shows no interest in girls, and loves Lucas… So the writers made him an asexual fifth wheel. Any other teens with lines just resemble more Benetton models on set. I like Christine Elise as Jessie’s waitress mum -- remember her from 90210? And finally, Jere Burns plays the cartoonishly mean principal who forces Jessie to help Nova remake decorations or else not graduate, moving the plot toward the inevitable “meet cute.”
Beyond dickishness, none of teenagerdom’s usual vices seem to hold any appeal for Brookside’s angelic student body. There’s kissing, but not a hint of sex. (Aren’t proms all about sex?) The poster’s close-up of legs in a hiked-up gown is a misleading anomaly. There’s a romantic scene in a shed (yes, a shed) but those chaste fumblings lead to a fire, which could be read as Disney’s condemnation of canoodlings. In perhaps the only poignant scene in the whole film, Simone teaches Lucas to strum a guitar, a moment which rings true thanks to Sotillo’s effective portrayal of a hormonally overwhelmed adolescent.
As implausible as the absence of sex in this high school, not a drop of alcohol is slurped, whether at the party crammed with cool kids or on prom night itself. (I thought proms were all about drinking?) Joe Adler utters funny one-liners as spacey stoner Rolo, but we never actually see him smoke a joint, his only oral fixation being candy apparently. (Duh: Rolo.)
Oh yeah, and at Brookside, you’re not allowed to simply ask someone, “Will you be my date to prom?” Nope: you must literally write out “Prom?” or “Go to Prom With Me?” in a public way so that everyone can cheer when your intended says oui. Location options for your written query include lockers, windshields, lawn decorations, casts, highway overpasses, cheerleaders and boys’ shirtless bods. (Arms interlinked, and no punch line…) I’d have wanted to flick my Bic had I ever seen a “Prom?” sign at school.
At the happy ending (duh), everyone neatly transcends social categories, the buxom, white cheerleaders embracing the dumpy Hispanic girl on the dance floor. But thankfully, not everyone goes to prom – the option exists! And half the couples break up too, elements adding another welcome tinge – but only a tinge -- of reality. Nova’s average looking, working-class home adds a sense of realism too. A respite from Hollywood’s maddening overreliance on unrealistically Martha-esque domiciles. But no one has a problem affording stretch limos, extravagant get-ups or other expensive regalia, a mere fantasy for many American families these days. (I’d be curious to know whether any evening gown, tuxedo rental, limousine, floral or other related industries ponied up for a movie potentially boosting their bottom line.)
Katy Perry’s “Firework” makes a smart addition to the soundtrack: even though overplayed in malls and on the radio, it significantly jazzes up both the dance scene and the trailer. But sadly, it also represents the only timely element in an otherwise bland, cowardly rehash of so many conventional teeny bopper flicks to come before.
There’s still hope for screenwriter Katie Wech since this is her first feature. As for director Joe Nussbaum: not so much. His past films include the Amanda Bynes vehicle SYDNEY WHITE (2007) and SLEEPOVER (2004), both of which also sound like hell on earth.
More on Prom including movie details, trailers, clips and images:
Director: Joe Nussbaum
Cast: Aimee Teegarden, Thomas McDonell, Danielle Campbell, Yin Chang, Kylie Bunbury, Nicholas Braun, Jared Kusnitz, Jonathan Keltz, DeVaughn Nixon, Nolan Sotillo, Cameron Monaghan, Joe Adler, Janelle Ortiz, Raini Rodriguez
Writers: Katie Wech