Review of New Year's Eve. Fails to deliver one good laugh despite its star- studded ensemble.
Despite a star-studded cast and the New Year's Eve ball drop at Times Square as its backdrop, director Garry Marshall’s ensemble comedy New Year’s Eve offers not a single belly laugh or any legit surprises.
To call New Year's Eve an omnibus comedy is to treat it more seriously than it deserves and make unwarranted comparisons to Robert Altman and Paul Thomas Anderson movies.
Instead, Marshall, a Bronx native who should treat New York better, and writer Katherine Fugate follow-up the format of characters crisscrossing during one day and lovelorn subplots from their 2010 comedy Valentine's Day with mixed results.
There are plenty of celebrity faces scattered throughout New Year’s Eve but by the film’s uneventful climax none of them matter much.
Ashton Kutcher, a veteran of Valentine's Day, appears as Randy, a cynical comics illustrator opposite Glee’s Lea Michele as Elise, a back-up singer scheduled to perform at Times Square.
Robert De Niro avoids a lot of film’s mediocrity as Stan, an absentee father sick in the hospital with the pretty Nurse Aimee (Halle Berry) at his side.
Hilary Swank smiles admirably throughout the mess as Claire, the Times Square boss in charge of the ball drop, but hers is the most embarrassing performance.
Jon Bon Jovi walks casually through his scenes as a singer named Jensen who reunites with his ex girlfriend (Katherine Heigl) at a record label party.
Ryan Seacrest makes a forgettable appearance and Jim Belushi, Carla Gugino, Cherry Jones, Alyssa Milano and Sarah Paulson and Matthew Broderick provide insignificant cameos.
Hector Elizonda unloads a goofball accent as Kominsky, the one city worker who can fix the malfunctioning Times Square ball.
Marshall and Fugate pull all subplot strings tightly around the New Year's Eve ball drop and even that timeless event comes off as dull as Glee dropout Michele sings what else but “Auld Lang Syne.”
Granted, there are a few bright spots in the movie including Abigail Breslin as a teen desperate to hang out with her friends, Sarah Jessica Parker as her overprotective mom and two couples (Jessica Biel and Seth Meyers and Sarah Paulson and Til Schweiger) competing for the cash given to the parents of the first baby born on New Year’s.
Michelle Pfeiffer channels her mousy secretary character from Batman Returns as a fed-up office worker named Ingrid, who ends up being a lot of fun zipping around the five boroughs on the back of a scooter with Zac Efron’s messenger bike character Paul. Pfeiffer even soars in a flying harness across the Radio City Music Hall stage and tumbles atop a pile of garbage for a quick laugh.
Cameraman Charles Minsky works extra capturing New Year’s Eve footage from last year and highlighting some of New York’s landmarks like The Brooklyn Museum and the New York Life Building.
Capturing New York on film is a longstanding tradition in the movies but New Year’s Eve and its dull storytelling does not do the city justice.
It’s also turns out to be one of Marshall’s most disappointing movie comedies lacking the sparkle of Pretty Woman, The Flamingo Kid and the Princess Diaries movies.
I also have one end-of-year question for Marshall. If you’re going to stuff your comedy with New York cameos, where's the cast of Jersey Shore when you desperately need them?
You know a movie’s awful when the idea of an appearance by Snooki sounds like a good thing.
Distributor: Warner Bros.
Cast: Halle Berry, Jessica Biel, Jon Bon Jovi, Abigail Breslin, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Robert De Niro, Josh Duhamel, Zac Efron, Hector Elizondo, Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher, Seth Meyers, Lea Michele, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michelle Pfeiffer, Til Schweiger, Hilary Swank, Sofia Vergara
Screenwriter: Katherine Fugate
Editor: Michael Tronick
Cinematographer: Charles Minsky
Costume Designer: Gary Jones
Composer: John Debney
Director: Garry Marshall
Producers: New Line Cinema, Wayne Rice/Karz Entertainment Running Time: 117 minutes
Rating: Rated PG-13
Release Date: Dec. 9, 2011