Sam Worthington stars in Clash of the Titans. Copyright(c) Warner Bros. Pictures.
Just release the Kraken already.
You know they will release the monstrous beast-child of Hades at some point. “Release The Kraken” is a catchphrase that’s endured among fans of the 1981 original. The studio behind the new one has made sure we hear the phrase in all the promos. And as I sat there watching the new one, I wanted them to release the Kraken so I could see the cool special effects and then be released from sitting through this underwhelming remake.
The original is regarded well by its fans for a couple of reasons. There are of course the special effects of stop-motion legend Ray Harryhausen, which inspired countless filmmakers in their special effect-driven films. There’s also the campy fun – from the golden owl to the actors at the level of Laurence Olivier and Maggie Smith wearing togas playing the Greek Gods in all seriousness.
By today’s standards, the special effects in the new Clash of the Titans aren’t that good, and there’s not a lot of campy fun to be had. They dispense with the owl idea pretty quickly, and maybe someday we can look back at the new Clash as campy fun, but it’s played too seriously for that to happen yet. The technology will have to become quaint before we can do that.
The special effects are meant to be Clash’s selling point, hence the phrase “3-D” advertised prominently. We may be reaching 3-D overload here. After Avatar, Alice in Wonderland and umpteen animated films, there’s nothing all that novel anymore about putting on 3-D glasses and marveling at the technology. That overload may not be Clash of the Titans’ fault. But you can blame the film for not transporting us to another world like Avatar or Alice did. With Avatar, Alice and even a completely animated film, you were absorbed into another reality. But when there are no monsters onscreen in Clash and you’re just looking at people interacting with people – the movie looks weird. And the Gods look ridiculous. When you see blurry auras around them, you take off your glasses to see if something’s wrong.
The monsters – including the Kraken, Medusa and some giant scorpions – are very cool looking, but honestly, they would have looked cool in 2-D. You may know the story of Clash of the Titans from either the original or loosely from your Classic Literature classes. The ancient Greeks turn on the Gods, and in turn, the Gods take their wrath out on their creations. They demand a sacrifice to the aforementioned Kraken, so demigod Perseus, an illegitimate son of Zeus, goes on a quest to claim Medusa’s head and stop the Kraken.
The plot plays out pretty much by the book, with wooden performances along every step of the quest. You never care enough about any of the characters for there to be any suspense to their battles. A couple of them showed up at the end, and I could swear they died earlier. Perseus is played by Sam Worthington, who is pretty much there to fill the suit of armor. He doesn’t show any of the potential he showed in Terminator Salvation – heck, he showed more personality as a Na’vi in Avatar.
The rest of the cast could have been impressive. Like in the original, acting gods are playing the Greek gods. Liam Neeson is Zeus. Ralph Fiennes is Hades. I couldn’t help but wonder if two of them looked at each other, rolled their eyes and said: “Dude, what happened here? We were in Schindler's List”.
Clash of the Titans (2010)
Genre: Epic
Release Date: April 2, 2010 (Showtimes and Tickets)
Studio: Warner Bros. Pictures
